Who’s the cutest?

When, in other words

Yesterday morning I found a sweet lying around in Mummy and Daddy’s bedroom. I concluded it must have escaped from Daddy’s stash, looking for somebody nicer to be eaten by.

“Mummy, can I have this sweet?” I asked, yet without much hope; I could predict the answer.

“Not now – you haven’t had breakfast yet”, replies Mummy, right on cue.

“Then when can I have the sweet, Mummy”, I persist.

“Later, maybe”, she says.

“When later?”

“When I say so”

“But when, Mummy?”

“If you say ‘When, Mummy’ one more time, you won’t be having it all!”. Mummy thinks she’s had the last word.

So I let the matter rest. For, say, thirty seconds.

“At what moment may I have the sweet, Mummy?”

Asda in a van

A man in a van came to our house the other night; I was allowed to wait up to see him. On its side, the van bore the letters “ASDA” in bold green type, letters that I now associate with the tedium of trudging up and down aisles, putting tins and things in trolleys.

The van driver brought a load of boxes to our front door in which were bags of groceries: it was amazing – he seemed to know exactly what was usually on our shopping list. I scurried back and forth along the hall, ferrying loaves of bread and such-like to the kitchen.

“It will be midnight by the time we’ve finished this”, I remarked to Daddy, in great hope.

Sadly I didn’t manage to spin it out for that long, and bed-time was called when the big-hand was only half a circle further round than usual.

But next morning, I was still thinking about the whole affair. “It’s a good idea, a man bringing the shopping to our house”, I told Mummy. “It saves me getting bored going round the shop.”

Then another thought struck me.

“Do they do clothes like that?”

The Chemistry of Kettles

“What happens to water when you put it in the freezer”, Daddy asked me one day.

That was easy.

“It makes ice”, I replied.

“Then what happens to ice when it gets warm?”, Daddy continued.

That was easy too. There was an ice-cream lid in front of me, and on it, white ice crystals were slowly turning into clear droplets – in fact this was what got Daddy started on his impromptu Chemistry lesson.

“It turns into water”, I said, to Daddy’s satisfaction. Then came his final question.

“And what happens to water when you put it in the Kettle?”

Followed by my reply.

“It makes Tea!”

Still feeling Christmassy?

Still have any Christmas spirit left over?

Perhaps these pictures will help you get in the mood for next Christmas (not long now).

My favourite present - as you can see!


My highest tech present.


My audition for Christmas Pudding!

Frank admission

I was having a conversation on the phone with Daddy tonight. He was explaining to me why it was that he was sat in McDonald's when he should have been on the way home.

My attention was diverted somewhere in the middle of the explanation however, so when he got to the end of it I said,

"Sorry Daddy, I didn't quite catch that. I was just biting my finger nails."

Multi-purpose people

"What's the name for people who aren't Jews?" Daddy asked me during bible reading this morning.

"Gentiles", I answered. And then added, "it sounds like they can put themselves on roofs!"

At the Autumn Show

Music Critic

I was listening to a CD of Bavarian music the other day. One of the tracks had some men yodeling (you know, "High on the hill stood a lonely goatherd,  Lay-ee-odl-lay-ee-odl-lay-hee-hoo", and all that business).

"Those men sound like they're turning into girls whilst they're singing!" I remarked to Mummy.

Where do I come from?

I was looking at my tongue in the mirror the other day, as you do.

"It's rather large, but quite nice", I remarked to Mummy.

"Did you have to pay a lot of money for that tongue?" Mummy asked.

"No! It came free with the rest of me".

"Oh, that's funny", Mummy continued, "I had to pay a lot of money for my tongue."

Silence for a moment as I studied Mummy's face carefully. Yes - a twinkle in the eye; she was joking

"Well actually," I said, considering, "my tongue and my eyes and all the rest of me were free, except for my pink skin which was on special offer in Woolworth's!".

Back to Pre-school

I started Pre-school again the other day. I have a new uniform to wear, and, because I'm now a big girl and staying for lunch, I'm also the proud possessor of a new lunch bag.

Don't I look grown up?

A new girl started today. I thought at first she might be a baby, because she had a dummy. But she wasn't - perhaps she just liked the taste. Her name is Angel. I kept watching her to see if she would fly. It's a good job that she didn't because I don't think my teacher would have been very pleased: she might have knocked the things off the walls.

I told Mummy when we got home that I quite liked pre-school but that it was a bit boring. All we did was play - we didn't do any reading or writing!

Biblical Baking

I was baking bread with Mummy the other day. The flour was already in the bowl. Then we added butter and yeast (we didn't have salt - Daddy hasn't been paying her her salary!).

"But we haven't put any soil in it", I reminded Mummy.

"Soil?", puzzled Mummy, "Oh, do you mean oil?"

"Yes. In the bible they didn't put any of these things in" - pointing at the butter tub and the yeast packet - "just flour and oil."

You can find that recipe in 1 Kings 17:12 if you want to try it at home.

Two mees

A picture with two of me in it; one of me created by me, and the other me created by Mummy and Daddy. Notice in particular the i-brows.

Shopping fatigue

We went shopping with some friends yesterday. Very nice friends - they took us to Pizza Hut. Shopping is not one of my favourite things, and as we traipsed in and out of one boutique after another I began to feel rather weary.

Finally I crouched down in the corner of one shop, exhausted. My friend came over to me.

"Are you poorly, Sophie", she asked, concerned.

"No. My feet have run out of petrol", I replied.

Back from foreign parts

A few weeks ago I had my summer holiday. Two weeks in Belgium. As you can see from the pictures above and below I had a great time. One of the highlights of our first week was a trip to Plopsaland (that name caused some amusement, I can assure you. It wasn't my fault - Mummy started it). The old favourites were my favourites. Here's me at the top of a climbing frame:

And here I am, amused at life in a (floating) teacup:

They saved the best till last (and it was a good job, because I only had one change of clothes). Magic fountains. They kept going on and off, up and down. Once, I miscalulated, and stood over a fountain just as it was on the up - up into my underwear!

Self-assurance

"Mummy, I'm not as tall as you...
... but I am as tall as myself!"

Toddler mum?

A new cousin joined the family the other day (a cousin of some degree, and some number of places removed - I can never work these things out with my large family).

I was looking at his first photo with Mummy when she said,

"Do you think you'd like one of those?"

I gave it a few seconds consideration, and then asked

"Would it cry?"

"I expect so," Mummy said. "All babies cry."

I didn't like the sound of that. It upsets me to hear other babies being upset.

"I think it would be a better idea", I said, "if it did crying in tears, not noises. Just tears, " I repeated, to make my point clear. I was thinking of the new baby that I won at a Fete the other day by guessing its birthday. It sets an example that I think all babies everywhere should follow, by demonstrating its feeling just with watering eyes, and not with all that unnecessary howling.

Later on I had another thought, and told Mummy to put an end to the matter.

"Mummy, I can't have a baby until I get married."

Storyteller

I was just coming to an important part of the story that I was telling to my spellbound dollies as Mummy walked into the room. I ignored her and carried on.

After a suitable pause. "End of Side one", I announced.

I've no idea why Mummy laughed. That's what they always say on the stories I listen to in the car, just as they're getting to the good bit.

Intoxicating aqua

We'd just got back from a long hot trip, and I stood watching daddy have a long cold drink next to the sink.

He downed one glass of squash, and I watched tolerantly as he gulped down a second. But as he started on a third glass, this of water, I became concerned.

"Don't drink all that, Daddy", I said, worriedly, "you'll get drunk!"

To what shall I compare thee?

I was stood in the bathroom with Mummy as she dried herself after a shower the other morning.

"Mummy", I piped up, "your hair is like a cow's udder".

Mummy looked up at me, puzzled.

"Why?", she asked, as she grabbed a pony-tail of her hair, and gave it a twist.

"Because when you squeeze your hair, water comes out; and when you squeeze a cow's udder, milk comes out."