A new cousin joined the family the other day (a cousin of some degree, and some number of places removed - I can never work these things out with my large family).
I was looking at his first photo with Mummy when she said,
"Do you think you'd like one of those?"
I gave it a few seconds consideration, and then asked
"Would it cry?"
"I expect so," Mummy said. "All babies cry."
I didn't like the sound of that. It upsets me to hear other babies being upset.
"I think it would be a better idea", I said, "if it did crying in tears, not noises. Just tears, " I repeated, to make my point clear. I was thinking of the new baby that I won at a Fete the other day by guessing its birthday. It sets an example that I think all babies everywhere should follow, by demonstrating its feeling just with watering eyes, and not with all that unnecessary howling.
Later on I had another thought, and told Mummy to put an end to the matter.
"Mummy, I can't have a baby until I get married."
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