Still feeling Christmassy?

Still have any Christmas spirit left over?

Perhaps these pictures will help you get in the mood for next Christmas (not long now).

My favourite present - as you can see!


My highest tech present.


My audition for Christmas Pudding!

Frank admission

I was having a conversation on the phone with Daddy tonight. He was explaining to me why it was that he was sat in McDonald's when he should have been on the way home.

My attention was diverted somewhere in the middle of the explanation however, so when he got to the end of it I said,

"Sorry Daddy, I didn't quite catch that. I was just biting my finger nails."

Multi-purpose people

"What's the name for people who aren't Jews?" Daddy asked me during bible reading this morning.

"Gentiles", I answered. And then added, "it sounds like they can put themselves on roofs!"

At the Autumn Show

Music Critic

I was listening to a CD of Bavarian music the other day. One of the tracks had some men yodeling (you know, "High on the hill stood a lonely goatherd,  Lay-ee-odl-lay-ee-odl-lay-hee-hoo", and all that business).

"Those men sound like they're turning into girls whilst they're singing!" I remarked to Mummy.

Where do I come from?

I was looking at my tongue in the mirror the other day, as you do.

"It's rather large, but quite nice", I remarked to Mummy.

"Did you have to pay a lot of money for that tongue?" Mummy asked.

"No! It came free with the rest of me".

"Oh, that's funny", Mummy continued, "I had to pay a lot of money for my tongue."

Silence for a moment as I studied Mummy's face carefully. Yes - a twinkle in the eye; she was joking

"Well actually," I said, considering, "my tongue and my eyes and all the rest of me were free, except for my pink skin which was on special offer in Woolworth's!".

Back to Pre-school

I started Pre-school again the other day. I have a new uniform to wear, and, because I'm now a big girl and staying for lunch, I'm also the proud possessor of a new lunch bag.

Don't I look grown up?

A new girl started today. I thought at first she might be a baby, because she had a dummy. But she wasn't - perhaps she just liked the taste. Her name is Angel. I kept watching her to see if she would fly. It's a good job that she didn't because I don't think my teacher would have been very pleased: she might have knocked the things off the walls.

I told Mummy when we got home that I quite liked pre-school but that it was a bit boring. All we did was play - we didn't do any reading or writing!

Biblical Baking

I was baking bread with Mummy the other day. The flour was already in the bowl. Then we added butter and yeast (we didn't have salt - Daddy hasn't been paying her her salary!).

"But we haven't put any soil in it", I reminded Mummy.

"Soil?", puzzled Mummy, "Oh, do you mean oil?"

"Yes. In the bible they didn't put any of these things in" - pointing at the butter tub and the yeast packet - "just flour and oil."

You can find that recipe in 1 Kings 17:12 if you want to try it at home.

Two mees

A picture with two of me in it; one of me created by me, and the other me created by Mummy and Daddy. Notice in particular the i-brows.

Shopping fatigue

We went shopping with some friends yesterday. Very nice friends - they took us to Pizza Hut. Shopping is not one of my favourite things, and as we traipsed in and out of one boutique after another I began to feel rather weary.

Finally I crouched down in the corner of one shop, exhausted. My friend came over to me.

"Are you poorly, Sophie", she asked, concerned.

"No. My feet have run out of petrol", I replied.

Back from foreign parts

A few weeks ago I had my summer holiday. Two weeks in Belgium. As you can see from the pictures above and below I had a great time. One of the highlights of our first week was a trip to Plopsaland (that name caused some amusement, I can assure you. It wasn't my fault - Mummy started it). The old favourites were my favourites. Here's me at the top of a climbing frame:

And here I am, amused at life in a (floating) teacup:

They saved the best till last (and it was a good job, because I only had one change of clothes). Magic fountains. They kept going on and off, up and down. Once, I miscalulated, and stood over a fountain just as it was on the up - up into my underwear!

Self-assurance

"Mummy, I'm not as tall as you...
... but I am as tall as myself!"

Toddler mum?

A new cousin joined the family the other day (a cousin of some degree, and some number of places removed - I can never work these things out with my large family).

I was looking at his first photo with Mummy when she said,

"Do you think you'd like one of those?"

I gave it a few seconds consideration, and then asked

"Would it cry?"

"I expect so," Mummy said. "All babies cry."

I didn't like the sound of that. It upsets me to hear other babies being upset.

"I think it would be a better idea", I said, "if it did crying in tears, not noises. Just tears, " I repeated, to make my point clear. I was thinking of the new baby that I won at a Fete the other day by guessing its birthday. It sets an example that I think all babies everywhere should follow, by demonstrating its feeling just with watering eyes, and not with all that unnecessary howling.

Later on I had another thought, and told Mummy to put an end to the matter.

"Mummy, I can't have a baby until I get married."

Storyteller

I was just coming to an important part of the story that I was telling to my spellbound dollies as Mummy walked into the room. I ignored her and carried on.

After a suitable pause. "End of Side one", I announced.

I've no idea why Mummy laughed. That's what they always say on the stories I listen to in the car, just as they're getting to the good bit.

Intoxicating aqua

We'd just got back from a long hot trip, and I stood watching daddy have a long cold drink next to the sink.

He downed one glass of squash, and I watched tolerantly as he gulped down a second. But as he started on a third glass, this of water, I became concerned.

"Don't drink all that, Daddy", I said, worriedly, "you'll get drunk!"

To what shall I compare thee?

I was stood in the bathroom with Mummy as she dried herself after a shower the other morning.

"Mummy", I piped up, "your hair is like a cow's udder".

Mummy looked up at me, puzzled.

"Why?", she asked, as she grabbed a pony-tail of her hair, and gave it a twist.

"Because when you squeeze your hair, water comes out; and when you squeeze a cow's udder, milk comes out."

Eye Spy

On our way to Tumble Tots every Tuesday we walk along a pretty path through the fields. Today, to pass the time, I launched a game of "I Spy" with Mummy.

"I spy with my little eye something beginning with E", I said.

Mummy looked all around, and then, "I can't see anything beginning with E".

"It's Elephant", I announced.

"I can't see any elephants", said Mummy

"Mmm ... but it begins with E".

Time for something easier. "I spy with my little eye something beginning with G".

"Grass", said Mummy, straight away.

"Well done!", I said, to encourage her - she had been quick. "It does begin with G. But its not that. It could be Goat. That begins with G. But there aren't any goats."

Mummy tried again. "Gate, then", she said.

"No" I said. I could see she was struggling, though we were walking past the very place I'd spied. I had to tell her. "It's Garden Centre".

My special day 2008

That's your hint. Guess whose special day it was last week? And for bonus points, deduce how old I am now. A very big girl as you can see.

I was overwhelmed with the many tokens of appreciation. They came flooding in. I kept telling people: "Thank you very much. That's all I ever wanted!"


Mummy arranged a very nice birthday party for me and a handful (if you have big hands) of my closest friends. I had decided several days in advance that I wanted a butterfly painted on my face at the party, and I wasn't disappointed with the result.

The best thing about my Birthday was that I had not one, not two, but three Birthday cakes (five if you include the ones I was allowed to blow out, but not eat, at the two toddler groups I frequent).

My favourite one was this one that Mummy lovingly handcrafted for me. I'm sure you recognise who it is, even though she is upside down in this picture:

Got him!

Mummy bangs on the bathroom door.

"Daddy", I say, "There's a mouse in your bedroom".

I hear Daddy, fumbling to get out of the shower. He opens the bathroom door, and pokes his head around, modesty preserved by a towel.

"April Fool!", I laugh.

Credits:

Original Storyline : Granny (who made me run to the window to look at Hot Air balloon which wasn't there)
Script : Mummy
Custom and Hair Dressing : Mummy
Dumb Daddy : Daddy
Hero Comedienne : Me

Wedding outfit

I went to a wedding today. It was in a barn! They'd taken all the animals out though, and cleaned it up, and put a nice wooden floor down and carpets. In fact, I should think it was a long time ago that cows and sheep were last allowed in. It was called The Great Tythe Barn.

Mummy got me a nice new dress, and some friends bought me a new pair of shoes. Do you like the outfit?

Aging visibly

"I'm a big girl now," I said to Granny.

"Oh," said Granny "why's that?"

"I've got a hair on my leg, like big girls have", I replied proudly. "Look!"

Granny dutifully admired it. A few minutes later, Mummy came in. I told her all about it, and asked her if she wanted to see. But to my embarrassment I couldn't find it.

"Would you like a magnifying glass?" Mummy asked, helpfully. I have a suspicion a smile considered passing across her lips, but thought better of it. Together we scrutinised my leg, until finally Mummy put her finger on that all-important sign of my increasing maturity.

Unexpected Pleasure

Mummy and I had a very long cuddle this afternoon.

Mummy said "This is nice: you don't normally let Mummy cuddle you".

I had taken myself rather by surprise. I said "Yes. I can't think why. I'm rather enjoying it!"

Adventuring

Pigging it

Mummy, my cousin and I wanted something to do the other day. It was my Great Grandad's birthday. What better thing to do than make him a birthday cake. A birthday cake such as he's never had before! I'm sure I don't need to explain the result to you. But my Great Granny did wonder aloud why there were three houses!

(I made the grass and the numbers, by the way)

Cooking

Having been inspired by Pancake day, Mummy and I decided to do more baking today. Here am I kitted out, complete with my "Cook's Wand" to add that magic touch. (In case you're wondering, me made chocolate crispy nest cakes!)

Pancake Day

Pancake day yesterday. Mummy flipped (the pancakes that is!).

Personal Trainer

I've decided that the parents have now reached the age when physical training can begin. I've taken on the burden of getting them into shape.

Thus, yesterday afternoon, had you been in the right place at the right time you would have observed Granny and Mummy trudging through a windswept field, me shouting from up ahead

"Come on. This way", leading them on another lap as I show them how exercise should be done.

And yesterday at tea time, Daddy with a big slice of Thornton's Toffee cake on this plate.

"If you eat all that Daddy, you'll be fat like Mr Greedy." Daddy carries on eating. More vivid methods needed. So I shuffle back in my chair, puff out my chest as far as it will go. "You'll have a fat tummy like this", I point.

Musical Mummy

It's a little known fact, that my Mummy played the violin. She played it today in fact. It's been some years since she last got it out of its box: the A-string had snapped and needed to be replaced.

Today the man in the music shop fixed it for her, and she brought it home. I sat down in anticipation as she got it out of its box and began to tune it up. She drew the bow over the strings.

Awwww-eeee-ooooooh. I just managed to stop my hands going to my ears.

"I think it needs new batteries, Mummy" I said helpfully.

But Mummy shook her head. "It doesn't take batteries."

"Perhaps it needs more new strings," I suggested, "or maybe some food would make it feel better!"

Reading the signs

Car journeys are rather more interesting now that I can see out of the Window. I provide a valuable service to Mummy and Daddy by alerting them to key landmarks as we pass them. It sharpens my sign-reading skills as well.

"Look, Mummy. There's Asda", I might say. Or, "There's a Post Office."

The other day we were driving past some shops and I said "There's a butcher's shop Mummy". Mummy looked at me in surprise.

"How do you know," she asked.

Sometimes these parents do ask dumb questions.

"Because its got meat in", I replied, shutting my mouth before the "duh!" escaped.

Down a peg or two.

Daddy was playing the piano yesterday, and thinking himself rather too good at it.

"Shall I help with you Daddy?", I asked. "I think that's too hard for boys"

Christmas

A few Christmas pictures at last.

Christmas started early for me this year. At the beginning of December we went on a trip to Lapland - in Kent ("Lapland UK", as I told everybody). Father Christmas took time out from bossing his elves to see me; and I helped out Mrs Christmas in her Gingerbread kitchen.

You'll be glad to know that even with those distractions, he still found time to drop off my presents. Perhaps he had help from my other hero to make his deliverys?

Yes! I had a dressing up box for Christmas. Expect many more characters to appear on your screen in the coming months.

Playing with Words

It's not just toys that you can play with: I discovered the other day that words are just as much fun.

Daddy had made me scrambled egg with toast for breakfast. He called me to the table in the dining room, tucked me into my apron (my new Harod's Apron!) and left me to tuck into my food.

But I was feeling a bit lazy that morning, so I called him back to help me.

"Eggward!", I called. Daddy came in looking puzzled.

"Why did you call me Eggward?", he asked.

"Thomas the Tank Engine has a friend called Edward", I said, by way of explanation. And Daddy quickly cottoned on.

"So you called me Eggward, because you wanted me to feed you your egg?". Then, with a twinkle in his eye, Daddy asked "What would you have called me if you wanted me to feed you your bread?"

I chuckled. "Breadward!"

A train ride

Speaking in tongues

Mummy and I were in the supermarket yesterday, checking off the list of things that we needed to stock our cupboards.

"We need petit pois next", Mummy said.

I looked at her, puzzled: "Why are you speaking French, Mummy?" I asked.

"What should I have said?"

"Peas, Mummy".

The magic ingredient

It's that time of year again. The time when, with Christmas still ridiculously far into the future, good housewives suddenly get the urge to start baking the Christmas Cake. So Mummy and I, good housewives that we are, set off for the supermarket.

Into the trolley went the usual currants, cherries, candied peel, along with the flour and eggs and all the other things that I usually add to the mixture by the bag-full.

But I was sure there was something missing. I scanned the shelves, but couldn't see it.

"Mummy, don't we need Christmas for the Christmas cake?"

Bath Time

A regular part of my evening routine is a bath. I like baths. I can teach Dora and Boots how to swim. I can squirt daddy with my Sea horse water pistol. I can scribble a masterpiece on the side of the bath with my bath crayons. But what I can't do is avoid having my hair washed.

"Don't I have to have my hair washed tonight?", I ask hopefully, every night without fail. Six nights out of seven I get the hoped for reply. But on that other night, often, mysteriously, after I have been swimming, Mummy directs a glance at Daddy and says "I'm afraid you do".

Then it begins. Hair drenched; shampoo lathered in; then soap washed out of my hair and into my eyes. I've tried watching my dollies as I wash their hair, to see how they can remain stoical in the face of the ordeal. They manage it even with their eyes open. I don't see how it can be done.

And so from the moment Mummy begins, to the moment Daddy wraps my head in the towel I keep up a constant chorus of "Is it finished yet? Is it finished yet? Is it finished yet?"

And it seems to be working. Hair washing has become noticeably quicker now that I've learnt that the way to Mummy's heart-strings is through her ears.

Energy

Fishing for Complements

I looked up as Mummy came downstairs into the Lounge.

"You look pretty today, Mummy"

"Thank you, Sophie"

Silence

"Mummy, you could say 'you look pretty today, Sophie'!"

Eating like a pig

Mummy and I were driving past a restaurant sign-posted by the Golden Arches today.

"There's Old-MacDonald-had-a-farm", I pointed out to Mummy.

"It's not Old-MacDonald-had-a-farm", Mummy corrected, "It's McDonald's"

And that was my inspiration.

"Old MacDonald had a farm," I sang, "E-I-E-I-O"
"And on that farm he fed fish and chips to his pigs, E-I-E-I-O"

[Better, perhaps, than what some farmers fed to their cows - Dad]

Inconsistencies

Breakfast Time.

I finish crunching my last crust of honey-and-butter toast.

"Can I have another piece?", I ask Daddy, who at that moment takes a bite from his own toast.

"Whasthemagicwordmf?", he asks.

"Please!", I reply, and then think to myself, "Should Daddy be teaching me manners with his mouth full?"

Yorkshire Holiday

We went up to the wilds of Yorkshire last week, and who better to take with me than Dora the Explorer.

"What am I going to eat in Yorkshire?" I asked Mummy before we went. You have to be sure about these things.

"What do you think you're going to eat?", Mummy asked me in return.

"Fish and Chips and Ketchup and Yorkshire Pudding"

A rainy day lesson

"Why does it rain, Mummy?" We were both stood at the window, looking at the rain outside keeping us inside.

"The rain comes down from the clouds", Mummy replied.

"But how does the rain get in the clouds?" I persisted.

So Mummy explained about the sun sucking the water up from the sea and the rivers and the poor little rain drops getting cold when they get up in the sky so they all huddle together to get warm again. And that makes the clouds.

And what could I say to that but, "Wow!"

A bone to pick

At tea tonight:

"You better watch it," said Granny, "I've just found a bone in my fish". I think, in her roundabout way, she was reminding Mummy to check my dinner. Mummy is used to this.

"You're lucky then," said Mummy. "I haven't had any"

"I've got a bone in my arm" I piped up, sure that everyone would be interested. And indeed, Daddy was.

"Where have you got another bone?" he inquired.

"In my other arm!"

This is the way we go to (pre)school

A few months back Mummy and Daddy found me on the sofa with the phone on my lap.

"What are you doing, Sophie?" Mummy asked.
"I'm phoning the lady to ask her if I can go to school", I replied, adding a touch of impatience to my tone. I asked Mummy weeks before if she would do it, but she hadn't got round to it.

Well, Mummy must finally have gotten round to putting through that all-important call. Last week I started Preschool. Off I went with my Dora bag packed.

"Did you enjoy it? Do you want to go again?", Mummy asked afterwards.

"It's cancelled next week", I replied.

(But I think I might like to go again)

Welcome home Leo

Last time you visited, I told you about the felicious feline find that Mummy made. Today I bring you pictures of my new friend Leo arriving in his new home. I'm afraid it was a rather undignified arrival:

Here's me presenting Leo with his Id card. (I can't remember what it really was)

Daddy's Birthday

Guess who's birthday this was? Not mine - that was in April. No, it was Daddy's. Don't you think I made an excellent choice of cake?

A true story

I was telling my friend today about my trip to the Blue Cross Animal Rescue Centre. Daddy has finally agreed to us having a cat, and we'd gone to look for a winsome waif or stray.

"Mummy wanted a tabby one", I told her, " and I wanted a ginger one. But they didn't have any pink ones."

As we were looking around Mummy spotted a very handsome cat. Good job Daddy wasn't there; I don't think he ever gets such admiring looks as went this cat's way. But then she looked a bit closer - and realised that it was somepuss she knew.

You see, about year ago one of Granny's two cats went on holiday and didn't come back. Granny gave him up for lost. But now, when Mummy went over to this fine feline and called the name "Leo" he came and purred to her. She's just got to take in pictures now to prove that he is really him, and then he can come home with us.

Brings tears to your eyes doesn't it. (Or maybe its his long hairs).

My Holiday

Sorry for the long gap between posts, by the way. I've been on Holiday you see. This time to a place somewhere between Weymouth and Bournemouth. Here's me on a ride at Weymouth Sea Life Park, which is well worth a visit.

Hide and Seek

My cousin (give or take a few Firsts, Seconds or once-removeds) Leila has being playing with me all this week. Today we played hide and seek. She hid first. But then I lost her, and I cried.

Next it was my turn to hide. I wanted to make sure she didn't suffer the same kind of trauma as I did, so I said

"I'm going upstairs to hide under the duvet. Count to ten, them come and find me."

I was not long tucked up, when Leila and Mummy clumped up the stairs and started prodding around in the bedroom.

"Where's Sophie gone?" I heard Mummy say.

"I don't know, I can't see her anywhere" replied Leila.

"Oh honestly!" I thought. Then, out loud: "I told you where I am. I'm hiding under the duvet on the bed!"

Two heads are better than one

Morning Song

I usually speak to my Granny (my normal Granny as I say, to distinguish her from my great Granny) when Mummy phones her in the morning.

Granny is full of little rhymes, as, I suppose, good grannies are trained to be. Classics like
Nightie, Nightie
Sleepy Tightie
Mind the Bugs don't Bitie!

and
See you later alligator
(and I reply) In a while crocodile.

One morning she surprised me with the new tale of Fuzzy Wuzzy:
Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wuzn't Fussy, wuz he?

"I've never known Granny so bright and bouncy!", I told Mummy

A discovery

Don't those clothes look pretty! Well, they might do. But there's something more exciting about them: I can take them off by myself. This was the day when Mummy kept my clothes on me for about an hour at most. I kept surprising her with a "Peek-a-boo", and the sight of me in my birthday suite.

One time I had to go outside to find her.

"Ooo. It's a bit windy out here", I said, as the wind got one layer closer to me that it usual does.

First in the queue

It was my Great Great Aunty Joan's ninetieth birthday last week. We went along to help her eat the cake. I made sure I was close by, just in case she wasn't sure which bit was best for me.

Missing Daddy

Daddy's been working very hard recently. At least, he's been at work a lot, which I suppose is the same thing. Sometimes he's left before I've even got up. That means that Mummy has to give me my breakfast, and she's not nearly so well trained.

"This breakfast isn't much good", I said sadly.

"Thanks Sophie!", huffed Mummy

"Well, its alright I suppose, but it isn't as nice as Daddy's", I said, by way of comforting her. "I think Daddy said he'll be home for teatime, but I can't remember"

I've been up to London to visit the Queen

A couple of weeks ago, Daddy went up to London on business (I thought I'd write that, to make him feel important when he reads it!). Mummy and I tagged along in his suitcase.

Whilst he worked, we played. We took in Saint Paul's cathedral, the Millenium bridge (which didn't bounce nearly enough), the London Eye, and then, after a mad dash accross Westminster bridge (and a wrong turn into Downing Street), the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.

Mummy overheard a tour guide telling his crowd that "this was the absolute best spot to see it all from". So Mummy pushed me in there quick. And we had a lot to see. HM was recieving VIPs that day, and they arrived by golden coach (I checked for telltale pumpkin leaves sprouting from the top) topped with a full compliment of footmen.

"That's how you get to see the Queen, Sophie", Mummy said to me. "You have to be important and go in a coach."

"No Mummy, I'll just go and knock on the door", I replied with the confidence of one who always has time for visitors.

"I don't think she'd answer", said Mummy.

"Yes she would", said I, undaunted. "I'll just go round the back!"